Meow meow ruff bwok

FICTION

She had always been afraid of being called a crazy cat lady, but Marinella had three cats, two dogs, three chickens and two fish and she and her kids always wanted more. The latest thing they wanted was a mini pig. Marinella said, “no.” Not that she didn’t want a mini pig. She just didn’t want it smelling up the house or leaving more poop around the yard, but she also didn’t want to be called a crazy cat lady.

She did have crazy theories about animals though. She believed that each animal she acquired represented a different part of her psychological development. In her life, first there was Walla. She was a fat, lazy primadonna and that’s exactly how Marinella felt when she got Walla 8 years ago and was on the verge of getting a divorce.

She had been raising kids mostly on her own since her ex Terri couldn’t stand living in the Pacific NW. It was too gray and dreary for him and he didn’t like how politically correct and judgmental everyone was so he went back to the Midwest (makes a ton of sense, right?). And so she got this cat that was soft and voluptuous and irresistible, which is how she saw herself: a woman on the brink of freedom after several years of an increasingly claustrophobic marriage. She felt like she deserved to be the center of her own universe for once.

Then came Azure. Azure literally walked onto their property as a stray cat and demanded that the family take him in. At first they kept him in the treehouse since they weren’t sure how Walla would feel, but then they couldn’t NOT let him in. He had no tail (like Marinella who had a very flat butt). He was hypervigilant and he represented how Marinella felt as she was going through the divorce. Every move she made felt like she was about to step onto a land mine. No matter what she said or did, Terri would explode with anger and so she tiptoed around him afraid to ever set him off. At the time Azure joined the family, Terri had moved back to Washington to try to save their marriage — only it didn’t work. He was constantly unhappy and every single day with him was stressful. Just like Azure, Marinella was always on high alert and also like Azure… all she wanted was peace.

Then the day came when the marriage ended, and that’s when Gary trotted in. Gary was a half Corgi, half Chihuahua who barked at everything…

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