Growing Like a Plant

A stack of paper littered with a ton of bright red Cs. That is an image that will always be ingrained in my memories. Back in middle school, I was always crushed knowing that that was how far my writing skills got me even after attending numerous summer writing classes and trying my best. My siblings would always laugh, shoving their A+ worthy papers at me or recalling the times when I couldn’t spell even the most simplest of words. It’d hurt a lot yet my parents would never intervene since they knew themselves that I sucked at writing and…basically anything academic related. I honestly didn’t think my writings would ever amount to anything and I was beyond desperate to have just a little improvement.

However, I lot of things changed when I got to high school, especially this year. To me, a lot of my personal growth as a student and in writing this year is pretty similar to a plant’s development. Plants manage to grow one way or another. They germinate and eventually bloom into something bigger. The one thing this semester that had helped me “grow” has been writing question exploration essays since they really gave me a chance to voice my opinions, organize information, and helped me in demonstrating my researching skills. For me, researching and writing the question explorations on current social issues was really an eye-opener, a beacon in a tunnel of darkness. These have gotten me to somehow be interested in writing. I learned that I really enjoy talking about social issues and standing up for people who I feel are at a disadvantage.

To be honest, when I read the novel, Grapes of Wrath, I was very bored and didn’t enjoy the plot one bit. It was then when my teacher introduced our class to the question exploration essay, that I really got enthusiastic. For the assignment, we were suppose to formulate a question and perform research to support our argument. At first, I struggled to come up with a question, but I ended up choosing to write about Mexican immigrants in America and how they needed to be paid higher wages. Surprisingly, writing the essay wasn’t that difficult for me and I was able to find many sources/data and assert my opinions. I wanted nothing more than having a strong essay in which I could spew out hard evidence that supported my thesis. To do so, I decided to ask my friend for some tips since they’re a good writer. I was anxious if they would even help me at all since they’re usually busy, but I was shocked when they did. “You’re a decent writer, but you should just fix some grammar mistakes,” they said. “You’re an opinionated person.” I realized then that writing about something I’m passionate about like social issues can really make English fun.

I think that this specific assignment will assist me in the future as I will have to write my own research papers and prove my point of views in college. I can exercise what I have learned online and can help me find my grounds on specific social issues. Even if it’s true that plants usually grow, they usually require nourishment to help them and have to face many challenges that impedes their growth.

The germination period can be defined as a process from when a seed sprouts into a seedling, basically a peak. I think my peaked moment this semester was when my opening paragraph and thesis of that very essay were used as examples (above) for the class. Some of my friends’ works have already been used by our teacher and I really wanted to prove to myself that I could also be a capable writer as well. Although it may not seem like a big deal to you, it really boosted my confidence. This type of validation was good enough to show that I had improve just a little bit from first semester!

Furthermore, in order for plants to continue growing, they need a variety of nutrients like water or rich soil. In terms of my semester, these “nutrients” were found mostly in my friends/peers who have been very supportive of me. They have proofread my work and always encouraged me to just try my best, unlike my own family. My English teacher in a way has also contributed to my growth by providing feedback on one of my essays. It’s always good to know what areas you can improve on and how well you did. These two sources of support helped motivate me to try harder and do my best in the class. I found the feedback system of the Grow and Glow pretty useful since it indicated to me where my skills are so far. The writer knows what they are good at and what they need to change. I’m also glad that our writing was scrambled through out the room so that a pair of fresh eyes can read our papers for the first time. Surprisingly, I found out that I too was also a source for my improvement. From all of those discouraging comments my siblings made about my writing to my low self esteem, I somehow managed to find myself between those negative thoughts. I try not to let those comments get underneath my skin anymore and I now care about the world and defending my beliefs.

Unfortunately, there were many obstacles during this semester that really hindered me from reaching the best I could be. For a plant, obstacles would often refer to bad weather, weeds, or pests. One of these “pests” was volunteering and participating in class discussions. I feel regret that I haven’t made any progress since first semester. I never once spoken throughout the course of the class or actively took part in online Canvas discussions. Furthermore, another pest would be my change in performance due to the AP tests, which really took a toll on all of classes, not only English. I didn’t go above and beyond my own expectations since I was only worried about the upcoming test dates and pushed away many of my class assignments. The biggest pest that affected me was comparing myself and grades to others.

Why couldn’t I be like my siblings? My classmates?

Am I just a disappointment to my parents and teachers?

I have to admit that school has always been a challenge for me and it really disappointed me how I couldn’t be a better grade A student. Most of my peers are very intelligent, juggling countless APs left and right with a bunch curricular activities stacked high. The pressure to keep up to everyone really got to me and soured my confidence this semester. I really wanted to make my parents proud of me and I think it got in the way of my focus since I started to only worry about getting the A’s. I now have come to terms that grades don’t matter as much and what I got out of my classes was far more important. Even if I don’t end up at a college I like the first time, I could always transfer in. Hopefully I will overcome these challenges when they reappear in the future and eventually rid myself of these obstacles. It was really disheartening to know that I didn’t “flower and bloom” into my very best, but I am positive that there will be time for improvement.

Compared to last semester, I would say that I have improve a lot for sure. I’ve been inspired to write more and it doesn’t seem to so much of a chore as it use to feel. I feel that this semester I explored my own questions and formulated my own responses more in depth than first semester. It is not hard to write essays as long as I have a clear argument or thesis to follow and just write. I’m more comfortable with incorporating my own opinions and I’m not afraid to throw my own views into papers anymore. It’s honestly surprising that I did a lot more than I expected this semester since I tend give up midyear due to burnout.

Where does the future lie for my growth? Well for one thing, I’m now making a checklist of goals, ready to accomplish them whenever I can. The list is quite lengthy, but I want to first try expanding my vocabulary and use a plethora of vibrant words, which I will probably accomplish by reading more books or news articles. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I will definitely work on speaking up more and partake in class discussions. I want to extend my ideas to others and influence them in some way. I can accomplish this by being more active on my social media accounts and reaching out to an audience. Maybe interacting with writers and asking them for tips will allow me to fulfill this goal too. Hopefully as time progresses, I will also develop a clear and distinct writing style that reflects my personality. I want writing to be something that isn’t stressful and something that I can learn to love. One day I’m going to bloom even if it takes months or years.

Now that summer is here, I look back at my class and I realize that all of my classmates are sort of like plants too. Sure, we are different in shape and personality wise, yet we seem to have a similar goal. We want to keep on growing, surpassing our past selves until we can reach our full potential. Perseverance and determination will help us get past our obstacles, no matter how big or small it is. We’re going to carry what we learned in this class and take it wherever we go. I know for sure that we are all going to have bright futures ahead of us.

Note: Feedback is very much appreciated! I’m going to try harder to improve.

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