When I Finally Let Go of My Ex

Breakup

The most liberating moment of my life

In mid-1991, I moved from Mexico back to Canada. From then on, I had kind of an open relationship with my then-girlfriend who stayed in Mexico — but neither of us really knew what that meant.

It was a short but incredibly intense relationship.

We both had just arrived in Mexico at the time and didn’t know anyone. She’s from Poland, we shared a small room, and together we were immersed in a culture that was new and foreign to us.

At the beginning of January 1992, I had been back in Canada for more than half a year, I saw photos of her and her new guy, laughing, kissing. She seemed happy, I was devastated.

We organized a welcome dinner for one of our pals who had just returned from Mexico. He had lots of tales to tell and pictures to show. The moment I saw the photos, it was as if someone was pulling my heart out of my chest and watch me die.

I felt a sharp pain with complete inner emptiness at the same time.

I felt utterly lost. No condo in sight, no currency in my pocket, no idea what I wanted to do with my life and my ex-girlfriend was happily in someone else’s arms — and I had seen it.

How many more things do I need to be happy?

I phoned her the next day and told her that even though we had an open relationship, I couldn’t stand to see her happy with another guy. I also didn’t want to stop her from being happy. In tears, I wished her all the best and hung up.

When I woke up the next morning, my first thoughts were about her — and the new guy. I had better mornings, for example, with her on top of me.

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